The Whole 30

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On March 6th I started the Whole 30 Diet. I am living for April 6th.

My natural path doctor recommended it to see if it makes any difference with inflammation and pain. It is supposed to detoxify your system as well as identify any foods that could be triggering any problems.

They really should just call it the Omit diet. You omit wheat, rice, corn, all beans except green, and even supposedly healthy grains like Quinoa.

Also omitted are sugars. Regular, of course, but also the somewhat legal sugars (in Paleo anyway) of honey, coconut sugar and pure maple syrup, along with fake sugars (no surprise there) like aspartame, saccharine and Splenda. The part here that has caused me endless grief is they also banned Truvia, made from almost universally accepted stevia. I understand they are trying to break your dependency on sweet things, but I already know I have multiple sweet teeth and banning EVERYTHING just makes me cranky and fills me with sadness and discontent. No hot morning beverage was more than I could bear. I confessed to the doctor that I was having a cup of tea in the morning with 2 packets of contraband Truvia. I consider it a win because it is STILL not sweet enough. She did not say one word. She must have learned not to kick a woman when she’s down, or poke the bear. Whatever.

They also omit dairy. This is straw that is breaking my camel’s back. I have low carbed in some fashion or another for many, many years, and the silver lining of joy and happiness in the low carb world is DAIRY. No cream, no cheese, no mayo or sour cream, no yummy sauces to make food delicious. I was suffering through my morning tea with no cream. All the websites said to try full fat coconut milk, you’ll love it they cheered brightly! Yeah, still suffering. Who are these lying people????

No MSG, soy, or contraband oils. Recipes on Pinterest show too many sweet potatoes, chunks of avocado, vegetables I have never heard of and unappealing others. I made a ranch dressing with coconut milk that everyone online RAVED about. It tastes like it is rancid. Beets, continuous eggs in all forms, salmon, squash, lamb. I long for a burger. And Chip and Dip!

You might be wondering what is left. Well, there is good food to be had, but it is plain and sautéed with tears and regret. Meat, eggs, vegetables, fruit and nuts and seeds. I have been living on my banana pancakes, soup and Honey’s stir fry. We did have a pot roast with potatoes and carrots last week and it was DA licious! I took mine out before the gravy was made and I still enjoyed it very much.

I have discovered 2 new things; ghee (legal clarified butter) and Mousey and I have successfully waded into homemade sweet potato chip territory. Eating out is very tricky and I have just resorted to Mediterranean for the duration.

This is a hilarious look at what to expect while participating! A timeline of feelings and angst, breaking it down by days. I have 13 more days to go.

So far I don’t feel any better, and while there are wild reports of up to14 lbs of weight loss, I have lost maybe 2 pounds. The doctor says I am in the valley where people most often quit. I told her I would soldier on so I can say I have done it.  I’ll just be over here, quietly detoxifying and feeling sorry for myself.

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3 responses »

  1. Pingback: Way Back When-sday Hodgepodge | Still No Whining Allowed

  2. I feel for ya, CK! I really do. I gave up dairy because my stomach aches told me that I had to, but I still get a hankerin’ for ice cream once in a while. But, my stomach says ‘no’. I get crabby just thinking about the fact that the nearby university hospital doesn’t sell foods with real sugars, only artificial sweeteners – even at their coffee stations. Really? Aren’t the artificial ones worse for you than the natural ones?!

    Like

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